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Thread: Writing Contest #117 - DEADLOCK

  1. #1
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    Writing Contest #117 - DEADLOCK

    Hey everyone!

    Thanks to the tie in the last writing contest, we had a suggestion for the next one - Deadlock...

    So, either a:
    Noun - a situation, typically one involving opposing parties, in which no progress can be made.
    Verb - cause (a situation or opposing parties) to come to a point where no progress can be made because of fundamental disagreement.

    Or a move/decision/character(s) that solved a deadlock in battle, negotiations, argument, etc...

    Then as per usual PJ rules apply:

    *Nothing sexual in nature (romantic love scene is OK, but nothing graphic)

    *Nothing Political (or at least real-world politics)

    *1-5 Pages in length

    * No published/franchise characters that you haven't created and own the rights to (public domain characters should be OK - just make sure they're in the public domain)

    * The winner of this contest gets to choose the topic of the next contest.

    DEADLINE: Monday, October 16th, 2017

  2. #2
    Member Zepster's Avatar
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    I'm actually done.... but am toying with another idea, so will hold fire for a while

  3. #3

    Looking forward to it
    Last edited by fahrizakp; 09-27-2017 at 02:28 PM.

  4. #4
    Member Zepster's Avatar
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    Framework and Lurch get into the energy business


    A quiet, well to do suburban street at night. It is a tree lined road, well lit. Important. The houses are of a dormer style with an upstairs balcony off the main bedroom – which is street facing.

    One notable omission to this scene of urban serenity is a battered looking van, parked under a, recently, bent and broken street light. There should be a small litter pile of pizza boxes and coffee cups on either side of the van.

    Lurch(van): You sure about this boss?

    Framework(van): We’ve been over this. Infinity draws his power from every star in the galaxy. I’ve tracked the entanglement resonances to this street. He lives in one of these houses!


    We’re inside the van, the interior of which is also full of the detritus of a long stakeout. It is full of surveillance equipment, including a radar like screen. Important we need a few display screens, as we will be needing them later.
    We have two super villains in the van. They are

    Framework – A portly, balding man with a goatee to hide his double chin. He is wearing a long black trenchcoat, with numerous devices stuffed into its pockets. If we can see he has a few high tech watches, of varying designs, on both arms. He is wearing night vision goggles, but has them pushed back on his head. Framework is leaning over the screens.

    Lurch – Very large, muscular. Also wearing a trench coat, which does little to hide the leotard he is wearing underneath. He has blonde hair, a square jaw and is wearing night vision goggles while peering out the van window to the street.

    It should be obvious that these guys are small time.

    Lurch: No not that. Infinity is like super powerful. We shouldn’t be messing with him.

    Framework: Give me a lever and I’ll move the world! It’s all about the leverage Lurch and that’s why we’re here.

    Lurch: Hey! There he is.


    We’re just outside one of the balcony windows of one of the houses. A shadowy caped figure of heroic proportions is hovering just outside the window. He is holding hands with a very feminine set of hands of someone just inside the window. It should be a very tender/intimate thing.

    We can see the van in the background.

    Shadowy Figure: Until next time my love.

    Framework(van): Impossible! My quantum decoherence resonator says Infinity is in Europe right now.

    Lurch(van): He’s right there boss!


    Our two villains are squished together, both trying to see out of the window. Framework, trying to push Lurch to one side. They’re trying to look up.

    Framework: Out of the way! Let me see


    Framework has managed to get a proper look and his expression is one of shock and evil delight.

    Framework: Oh my! I think that’s Infinity’s house alright

    Framework: but that’s NOT Infinity!


    It is early the next morning and the van is still there. We may have an early jogger or someone in a bathrobe walking their dog to indicate the hour.

    SFX from van: eeeeee


    Framework and Lurch are cuddled together, fast asleep, in the Van. Lurch drooling over Framework, and still wearing his goggles.


    Framework(weak): huh?


    Framework sitting up in a hurry, throwing a startled Lurch off him.

    Lurch: huh? What’s happening?

    Framework: It’s the alarm! Infinity is here!



    A very bulky man, wearing a track suit, hood up. Is furtively landing in the driveway of the house from last night.

    We can see the two villains in the front of the van excitedly looking out. Lurch shielding his eyes as he is still wearing the goggles.

    Framework(burst): There he is! And it’s the same house!!!

    Lurch: I can’t see anything it’s too bright.


    Inside the van, Lurch removing the goggles, Framework has a very evil and satisfied look on his face, rubbing his hands.

    Lurch: I didn’t see anything. What was it?

    Framework: Leverage!


    Still in the van, Framework hunched over surveillance tapes of last night’s romantic encounter.

    Lurch looking worried.

    Lurch: Why are we still here boss?: We have what we came for.

    Framework: Not until I identify our interloping Casanova Lurch! The ident program is still running.


    Lurch looking out of the window with a look of sheer terror on his face. Framework just identifying the caped figure from the previous night, more awed than anything else at the result.

    Lurch: Boss!

    Framework: I’ve cracked it! It’s.. Oh my!

    Lurch(burst): Boss!


    Infinity has turned up and is tearing the roof off the van with no apparent effort. He is looking in, mildly amused. Lurch/Framework are both terrified, hugging each other. I’m thinking dark hair, classic hero type.

    Infinity: Well well if it isn’t Framework and Lurch. What happened guys, the van break down?

    SFX from screen@ Ping!


    All three are looking at the screen that Framework was studying. It shows the tryst from the previous evening. An adjacent screen has a close up of the shadowy figure, with text reading “Positive Identification”.


    A grim faced, no longer smiling and highly annoyed Infinity as he looks at the screen, maybe his eyes are burning with energy.

    Infinity: Implacable!


    The shadowy figure, now revealed as the hero implacable, hurtling at super sonic speeds towards a sky scraper. He has just been punched by Infinity.

    SFX: Foom!


    We’re with Lurch and Framework on a nearby hill as the skyscraper begins to collapse, our pov is at a distance from the city and we can see that the rest of the surrounding city has taken a real pounding with shattered buildings, smoke fire – Think the final battle between Superman and Zod. The death toll is unimaginable.

    Framework: Implacable is the embodiment of the irresistible force. He’s the only other supe on a par with Infinity. They’ll destroy the planet before this is done!

    Lurch: Can’t we just make them stop?


    Framework having an idea, more destruction in the background. Lurch confused.

    Framework: Every other hero on the planet has tried Lurch, most of them are dead. We’re running out of time.. Wait! That’s it!!

    Lurch: Boss?


    Infinity and Implacable pushing against each other in the ruins of a city street. We’re talking enormous forces at play here, the street is cracking/buckling around them, creating a crater. Both furious/angry.

    Infinity: She was my wife Derek!

    Implacable: and you treated her like dirt Phil!

    Framework(oos/above): Oh my! You boys are acting like… boys.


    Framework hovering above the two, slightly startled titans. He is wearing a very unsafe/ad-hoc helicopter pack and tossing a small sphere down towards them. Lurch struggling in the air behind him with an equally rickety looking helicopter pack.

    Framework: Why don’t you play ball instead?


    Framework working with some equipment in the shattered street. A huge sphere is behind him, in the middle of the crater from the previous page. It should have cables coming out of it coming into the equipment. Lurch can be seen lugging some very heavy looking equipment around. A confused police officer and some city officials are talking to Framework

    Officer: So they’re just trapped in there? What..Forever?

    Framework: It’s a stasis field, it slows down time to an imperceptible level for those inside.

    City official: Why all the kit then?


    Framework standing to look back at the sphere, wiping sweat from his forehead. The attending officials listening intently.

    Framework: Even with time slowed their power output is enormous. I need to bleed it off or the sphere will explode.

    Cop: How are you going to do that?


    Framework smiling at them.

    Framework: Well I’m planning on moving out of the Super Villain business and into energy production. The output here should be enough to keep the whole East coast going from now until.. well.

    City Official: You got a name for this business of yours?


    Framework in close, the sphere over his shoulder. Lurch tripping and dropping a lot of equipment in the background.

    Framework: The Deadlock Energy company.

  5. #5
    I'm not going to make this one but looking forward to reading the entries!

  6. #6
    Can someone please explain to me what "deadlock" means? I read the definition, but still couldn't understand. Sorry for the inconvenience. English's a second language for me.

  7. #7
    Quote Originally Posted by AmitMosheOren View Post
    Can someone please explain to me what "deadlock" means? I read the definition, but still couldn't understand. Sorry for the inconvenience. English's a second language for me.
    Deadlock is when two or more parties reach a point where they can not proceed. For example in America juries are often referred to as deadlock (or hung) if they are unable to come to a majority decision.

  8. #8
    Member Zepster's Avatar
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    ehh Bump folks.. time running out

  9. #9
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    Cool story Zepster!

    Finally settled on an idea - now just to plot & then script...

  10. #10
    @ Zepster. Really fun story. I enjoyed the tone a lot.

    I have a minor gripe about the info dump on p1p1; anytime a story opens with someone asking "what are we doing again?" or some variation of that it feels like a forced way for the writer to tell us what he or she thinks I need to know. I would try to find a way to open the story that conveys what they're doing there more naturally. In real life if you'd been in a van for days staking out a street you wouldn't randomly have a soliloquy on why you're there.

    One other issue; Why would Implacable attack Infinity, since Imp was the one cheating? Was Imp trying to get rid of Infinity to have his wife to himself? I was a little lost on his motivation there. It might be more natural if the villains caught Imp arriving, not leaving, and Infinity returns home early the next morning and his fight with Imp ensues.

    Other than those two little things I really dug this. Super fun and I could picture it in my mind. I also love comedic super villains, and a lot of people must love them too judging by the popularity of some Venture Brothers characters. I didn't pay close attention to moving panels and all that but as a story all the pieces are there and work. Nice work.

    So Chris, you submitting or is this month's contest just shut down?


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