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Thread: Girl Waking Up Pg.1

  1. #1

    Girl Waking Up Pg.1

    Hey Everybody,

    I'm working on a short (about 5 page) personal story to practice my work. This forum is so inspiring, it's so inspiring to see everybody drawing and doing their best to improve.

    Here's page 1:[IMG]https://imgur.com/p6Jnkfp[IMG][IMG][/IMG]


    I'm really frustrated with the look at this point, and I'm not sure what else to add to give things depth and a "comic" style look.

    Thanks in advance for the help!

  2. #2
    Bryan E.Warner's Avatar
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    Well Line Weight is very important...and placing your Blacks ( shadows an lighting ) Just from the hip I'm thinking your gonna leave that up to color.....Net is Free...But Print not so....Best to draw so your work stands on it's own...So from the hip I would work making your surroundings and character more convincing.... pay attention to your direction of light and give your settings real perspective also...Now being this is your first time out...what this old artist said was from the hip....There is quite a bit to be addressed...but that said and it's past my bed time....Keep in mind the 4 rules...1-Keep it simple...2 Keep it interesting...3 Don't get too artsy we fall out of the story....an 4 Make us the reader want to turn the page Follow toughs and work on your skills...you can not go wrong...
    Keep that Pencil Busy!

  3. #3
    Monkey with Crayons [Moderator] Veritas71's Avatar
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    Bryan nailed the most pressing concerns. I would offer this.

    Perspective is the single greatest need every artist must have in their tool box if they want to be successful.

    Sometimes you can 'fake it till you make it', but over time it will stick out like a sore thumb. Ernest Norling's Perspective Made Easy is a good primer to get your feet wet.

    The 2 pt perspective in panel 1 is close, but it doesn't look like all the lines converge to the same vanishing points on a set horizon. Also the side of the window is noticeably slanted. Also if this is your establishing shot, most rooms have a more lived in feel to them. Dresser, desk, stereo system, clothes strewn about. The lack of 'stuff' makes the perspective lines stand out even more.

    Panel 2 is a 1 point perspective. Keep the VP close to the center of the panel to avoid distortion. Any lines not going to the vp need to be horizontal and vertical. The slanting table is incorrect, but the clock can be caddy cornered if you like. Just use the same horizon line, and create a two point perspective just for the clock. As long as your horizon line is the same, it will look right.

    Panel 3 is a 3 point perspective. This is very tricky. Since you are looking down, the horizon line is going to be WAY above the panel. You are going to have two vanishing points on it very far apart, and another VP all by itself far below the panel. Any lines that are going toward the floor will converge on this point instead of being vertical. It creates the illusion of foreshortening that makes things recede into the background.

    Stick with it, and invest in some perspective books. I personally really like Framed Perspective by Marcos Mateo-Mestre.
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  4. #4
    Welcome aboard!

    Just because we can't see "something" doesn't mean that the "something" isn't there. What cannot be seen is far more important to the artist than that which can be seen because until you nail the invisible stuff, there's no way you can nail the visible.

    You can start with the top of the mattress but, you must then locate the floor, the wall and footprint of the bed before you can accurately place the night stand. From the top of the mattress: project down for the mattress, again for the box spring, again for the frame. Now that you have an accurate floor plan for the bed, you can set the floor plan of the night stand and build up.

    The same principles apply to the covers. Covers do not float above the bed, they drape over the body underneath. You can't drape over something that isn't there. You have to draw that body first, even though it gets covered up.



    As to your inks, I don't believe. More importantly, I don't think you believe. Your inks are timid and apologetic. You want bold and assertive. This doesn't necessarily mean Joe Sinnott bold: Thick, juicy, liquid masses. You can go Frazetta, who used some of the finest lines comics ever saw but, no one would describe Frazetta as timid or apologetic. When I say bold I mean a definitive statement that "THIS LINE GOES HERE"

    Eddie Murphy had a brilliant bit about James Brown. He's doing his JB impersonation when he brings down the house by barking out the single sound..."HEH!" Murphy goes on to say "James Brown wrote that! HEH! That s*** means somethin' to him, HEH!"

    Get some "HEH!" in your inks. NO one will believe in you if you don't believe in yourself.

  5. #5
    Straight Outta a Comic Book [SUPPORTER] Symson's Avatar
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    Welcome to PJ. You've been given very good advice so far. I would follow it.

    You don't have come out of your head with everything. Use reference.

    Take a photo of your own bedroom. Go to a furniture store like IKEA and take a photo of the bedrooms there.

    Use the reference as a tool, not a crutch. Don't trace the photos as the perspective will be off, due to lens distortion.
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