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Thread: Crtique Wanted - Chimpman-Z Pages

  1. #1
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    Crtique Wanted - Chimpman-Z Pages

    Hi folks, this is my first posting on the forum and I am sharing some comic pages with you in hopes to get some constructive feedback.

    These are some pages from Chimpman-Z Issue 1, an independent project I am currently working on.

    A free 9-page preview can be downloaded at the following link:
    http://www.jgartdesign.com/2016/03/0...preview-issue/

    These pages are from a school project a while back, and my skill/style, understanding of anatomy/perspective have grown a lot since that point. I do not intend to re-work these initial pages, but if you have input as far as layout, story-telling, clarity, etc. I will be considering all advice going forward.

    Let me know your thoughts.






  2. #2
    I think you have a lot of good things going on... but this is a critique, so I'm going to focus on what needs some work, and I'm sure you are already aware of some of the problems I'm going to point out to you.

    First is perspective, especially on page 2 of the saloon. Right now you are just winging it, which we all do up to a point in our learning, but at some point soon you need to buckle down and really learn it. There are good youtube videos and plenty of great books that cover the subject. As far as books go, I think Perspective Made Easy by Ernest Norling is my favorite because of how straight forward it is.

    Next is your character proportions. You gotta keep working on tightening up your anatomy and your anatomical proportions. Generally speaking, your characters heads are too big and your characters legs are too short, except maybe on that last uncolored page.

    Last thing I'm going to mention is color. You've got too many colors going on, and a lot of high saturations. Not only does it make everything look sort of like plastic, it also doesn't fit the mood of your story. Here is something to try: Forget the colors you know objects are (grass is green, wood is brown, all that crap...) Next, find a good illustration on the internet that you feel has the same mood as what you want in your story. I'm assuming you are using Photoshop or something similar... so now use the colors in that illustration for your own story using the eyedropper tool. But I'm not just telling you this to make things easier for you. You will learn a lot by doing this, but the challenge here is not to use other colors (at least not at first), only the colors (and variations) that are in this picture you have chosen. My bet is that you will be surprised at how well the colors work, even if this other illustration is of something entirely different than what you have drawn. Just pay attention to your color wheel while doing this. Look at their saturation levels, notice the colors they have chosen, and how many or how few, etc.

    Keep it up!
    Last edited by Nexus; 08-13-2017 at 01:25 AM.

  3. #3
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    Many thanks Nexus,

    I appreciate your input and I will definitely try to implement some of your suggestions.

    As far as coloring goes, my intent was to have a a vibrant, high saturation palette which directly contrasts some of the themes of the book. The book will deal a lot with concepts of duality and contrast and I thought this juxtaposition might be an effective tool... although maybe this idea is better on paper than in play.
    I will do some experimenting with other palettes and see what best suits the story.

    Thanks again for the feedback,
    Jesse

    Quote Originally Posted by Nexus View Post
    I think you have a lot of good things going on... but this is a critique, so I'm going to focus on what needs some work, and I'm sure you are already aware of some of the problems I'm going to point out to you.

    First is perspective, especially on page 2 of the saloon. Right now you are just winging it, which we all do up to a point in our learning, but at some point soon you need to buckle down and really learn it. There are good youtube videos and plenty of great books that cover the subject. As far as books go, I think Perspective Made Easy by Ernest Norling is my favorite because of how straight forward it is.

    Next is your character proportions. You gotta keep working on tightening up your anatomy and your anatomical proportions. Generally speaking, your characters heads are too big and your characters legs are too short, except maybe on that last uncolored page.

    Last thing I'm going to mention is color. You've got too many colors going on, and a lot of high saturations. Not only does it make everything look sort of like plastic, it also doesn't fit the mood of your story. Here is something to try: Forget the colors you know objects are (grass is green, wood is brown, all that crap...) Next, find a good illustration on the internet that you feel has the same mood as what you want in your story. I'm assuming you are using Photoshop or something similar... so now use the colors in that illustration for your own story using the eyedropper tool. But I'm not just telling you this to make things easier for you. You will learn a lot by doing this, but the challenge here is not to use other colors (at least not at first), only the colors (and variations) that are in this picture you have chosen. My bet is that you will be surprised at how well the colors work, even if this other illustration is of something entirely different than what you have drawn. Just pay attention to your color wheel while doing this. Look at their saturation levels, notice the colors they have chosen, and how many or how few, etc.

    Keep it up!

  4. #4
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Feb 2016
    Location
    Sussex, NB, Canada
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    Many Thanks Nexus,

    I appreciate your input, and I will definitely try to implement some of your suggestions.

    As far as the coloring goes, it was my intent to use a vibrant, high saturation palette to contrast some of the darker themes in the story. The book deals with concepts of duality and contrast and I thought this juxtaposition could be an effective tool to show that. This could be a better idea in theory than in practice.. I will experimenting with some alternative palettes to see what best suits the story.

    Thanks again for your feedback,
    Jesse

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