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Thread: Page 6

  1. #1
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    Page 6


  2. #2
    Neophyte
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    I like your stuff, and am looking forward to reading the finished book.
    panel 2 and 3 I'm not sure which way the ship is travelling vs the orientation of the woman.

  3. #3
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    I appreciate that Fresh.

    Panel 2 has the ship going from left to right towards the viewer. The woman is on board. Detailing a background could help. I like the light streak though...

  4. #4
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    Minor tweaks...

  5. #5
    Monkey with Crayons [Moderator] Veritas71's Avatar
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    In panel 1, I don't know how deep this structure is, but the ocean could be very dark. With a dark background and a trail of bubbles, it might make the ship pop out more.

    I dig that the straight lines converge on the ship. Nice.
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  6. #6
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    That's a fantastic idea Veritas. You know, I didn't think of that.

    I think a textured background with a deep dark blue, fading into a light blue, would look good.
    So let's leave it to texture and color, let's do it.

  7. #7
    Panel 1 totally needs to be reversed, that ship sequence is jarring, to say the least. The way it reads is as a completely different scene. And it should read as going from exterior to interior. Plus, as is, you lose a ton of momentum, especially for people that read left to right.

    Otherwise, I honestly want to see what the finished product looks like, looks good

  8. #8
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    Thanks TG.

    So the different directions causes a disrupt in the flow... I thought of that at first and then went for the zig zag eye direction. I can see your points though.Let's look at it reversed...

  9. #9
    Looks fantastic! Much better with panel 1 reversed

  10. #10
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    I'm seeing It too now. Thanks Dredd

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