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Thread: A new comic just wanting critique

  1. #1

    A new comic just wanting critique

    i tried something with my new idea trying to see if it works


  2. #2
    Monkey with Crayons [Moderator] Veritas71's Avatar
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    For the most part, the direction the action takes is important. If this is manga, then reading right to left is fine, but is this is meant to be a western style comic, then reading left to write affects the way we perceive motion. Right is forwards, left is backwards. I flipped the panels to show what I mean.

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  3. #3
    Assuming this is going to be the finished style of the art, get rid of that font and use your own handwriting and draw your own balloon. Where the style is more natural and loose, you want lettering and the balloon to be similar in feel. What you have now is too structured and clashes with your art. Don't worry if your handwriting isn't tight, just do your best and it will still work much better.

  4. #4
    [SUPPORTER] Josem's Avatar
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    Second panel adds nothing to the story, just confusion, you dont need it, be clear, took me a bit to understand that it was not a giant crab chasing then, but a horse. Study textures, right now you are just adding noise and flattening the art. The font is huge and the space between lines too big. Last panel, that interior looks like a living room, not a stagecoach, too big. Keep drawing, study perspective, use simple shapes, deconstruct to construct. Good luck.
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  5. #5
    Modesto, CA 1979 EddieChingLives's Avatar
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    Veritas71- Very nice job. Pointing all the panels in the right direction.

    Nexus- I agree. Blambot.com has a bunch of free ones. I use a free vector program to letter called Inkscape. I made some youtube videos on it if you search Youtube for "inkscape lettering comics"

    Josem- I disagree about the second panel. It adds atmosphere like those anime shots where they settle into the story. However it needs reference. Google image search is a great resource for this. Reference is key!!!

    That background on the last panel doesn't make sense. From a side angle, you wouldn't be able to get that angle in the back. His arm looks like you didn't draw the under part of his arm, which makes it look huge.

    I do agree that the art looks like it could use quite a bit more hours behind the board.

    That being said, the shot choice and pacing is quite impressive, in spite of them being in the wrong direction. Definitely keep it up!

  6. #6
    Master of Miniaturization Ace Corona's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Veritas71 View Post
    For the most part, the direction the action takes is important. If this is manga, then reading right to left is fine, but is this is meant to be a western style comic, then reading left to write affects the way we perceive motion. Right is forwards, left is backwards. I flipped the panels to show what I mean.

    Thanks for teaching about the direction of the flow of action in the panels, I learned something
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