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Thread: double page opener thumbnail

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    double page opener thumbnail

    The main characters' star ship arrives at a planet with a ring of wrecked ships and debris around it.

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    Neophyte ayalpinkus's Avatar
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    It's easier to analyze the composition if you put the two pages next to each other as you'd see them in the book.

    I'm not sure, are these TWO planets? (But thumbnails don't have to have that clarity of course, as long as you understand them).

    You have that line (of debris?) to the left-center that leads the eye out of the page at the bottom. Similarly, you have a string of debris that leads the eye out of the page to the bottom right. I feel that works against the purpose of a double-page spread, which is to slow down the pacing of the telling of the story and let the reader linger on the image. You should guide the eye so that it stays in the image and wanders the page.

    Also, in that light, specify where the word balloons or narration boxes will go as they help guide the eye through the page.

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    Good ideas, ayalpinkus. Here is a redo.

    Looking to keep the eye in the page. Somewhat of a swirl pattern. I have numbered the caption boxes in order of flow.

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    Never place anything of importance outside the copy safe area or, worse, along the spine.

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    Neophyte ayalpinkus's Avatar
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    That's much better. Although, probably heed Smitty's advice to not place narration captions too close to the edge or on the center of the page fold.

    So, composition-wise:
    1) I like your idea of the Z-zigzag these narration boxes make. However, my eye went from 3 to 6 to 4 to 5. Perhaps get that box 3 more out of the corner and closer to 4.

    2) it's a bit of a dull composition now with that ring of wrecked ships and debris and the edge of the planet basically put the focal point at the center of the image. Perhaps use the rule-of-threes, have interesting things happen at thirds of the height and width.

    3) It's not a very dynamic image now, not a lot of depth as the ring disappears into the bottom. For the rest it's empty space, not much detail in large parts of the image. A double page spread, I think, is meant to stop the reader, to bring the pace down, to have him linger on the page, studying detail. You can make it more dramatic by having that beam of debris coming at the viewer some more, making it more dynamic, and giving you the opportunity to draw more detail in the ring of debris as it beams towards the viewer somewhat.

    So I tried my hand at it, see below.

    Word balloons pushed away from the edges and the center fold and making a more clear zigzag, the ring of debris coming at us more to give you the opportunity to render lots of detail in the right bottom corner for the reader to study and linger on, and slow the reader down, an important role for a big double splash page, most interesting things happening at the thirds of the page (light blue circles).

    Not sure about my version to be honest because I like how your beam of debris crashes into the bottom border of the page.

    And not sure if my thumb makes sense, sorry for the loose sketch.

    At any length, looks like a cool double-pager!




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    Looking at the rule of thirds and watching the spacing of the text I did these. Cranked them out before I saw your take to see If we would wind up on the same page.

    I like your take, might be the best one.

  7. #7
    Looking great both greenback and ayalpinkus. Amazing in these parts how you can see a thing and be like "man thats good!" and someone will point out some stuff you didnt or never would have noticed and the follow up is simply way better xD

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    Neophyte ayalpinkus's Avatar
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    Greenback, these are much better!!!

    I think I like your second one, but mirrorred, if that makes sense. I think the debris should move to the right, along with the reading direction. You make things move *against* the reading direction to give the reader a sense of adversity. Make a protagonist walk up a mountain towards the left side of a panel and it will read even more like adversity. But in this case I think you want to have that "whoosh" effect of the debris flowing to the right.

    The second image also has more balance - that first image has perhaps too much empty space as a boring rectangle to the left. In the second image, the deep space makes for a much more interesting triangularly-shaped "negative space. It also has more opportunities for depth suggestion as the debris come towards us, and the space ship hovers in front of the planet, and then that other planet behind it, and then the stars behind it.

    If you flip the second image, you now also have that spaceship move to the left, against the reading direction, giving it a bit of an adversarial feel, the spaceship meeting with adversity, while the debris aggressively float to the right. But whether you should mirror actually depends on the story you're telling, so I may be wrong.

    So I think both thumbnails would work but I have a slight preference for the second one, mirrored.

    Nice work!

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    Neophyte ayalpinkus's Avatar
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    @BasiliskOnline, thanks for the kind words :-) It's practice, and frankly fun to do!

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    Great ideas on adversity, Ayalpinkus.

    I like the second one too. The challenge is to keep that zig zag flow in the mirrored version. Working with a debris field should aid in that since elements within can be arranged to help eye flow. Unless anyone else has a thought to throw out, I'm gonna pull the trigger.

    Great feedback. I was going to go with the first one, can you believe it?

    Here is the mirror with some basic eye flow adjustments:

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