Writing Contest #113 - Alternate History
Hey gang, I'm giving Chris2.0 a chance to handle life stuff so I'm taking the liberty of announcing our next Writing Contest.
This month's theme is Alternate History.
The Man in the High Castle (Axis won WWII), Watchmen (USA won Vietnam), Marvelís What If? series, and pretty much all steampunk show us how radically changed our world would look had history gone differently. So break out your history books (ok, search engines) and tell us a story taking place in modern times, which looks different from our world today because of alternate history!
As per usual PJ rules apply:
*Nothing sexual in nature (romantic love scene is OK, but nothing graphic)
*Nothing Political (or at least real world politics)
*1-5 Pages in length
* No published/franchise characters that you haven't created and own the rights to (public domain characters should be OK - just make sure they're public domain)
* The winner of this contest gets to choose the topic of the next contest.
DEADLINE: Monday, May 8th 2017
Nice theme... Need to give it some thought mind you but looks like it will be fun
Looks like I'll be binge watching a few seasons of Sliders for this one.
This theme is incredibly thought provoking and I'm super excited to see what everyone comes up with! I'm working on a doozy of a story for this one.
Can't wait to see it! I'm just trying to think of a historical scenario that could've seen insects evolve into the dominant species!
Originally Posted by Jaycy
I am very excited for this. I had a idea sitting on the shelf for awhile and now I can write the first 5 pages of it for this.
Great theme choice, Shaun! And thanks for doing the needful in posting this month's writing comp!
Have an idea or 6 already..!
Sent from my MI 5 using Tapatalk
Last edited by Chris2.0; 04-19-2017 at 12:50 PM.
Looks like a great theme! I'll read everything and give my vote in the poll at the end. Good luck everyone!
Here's my story! I hope you guys enjoy it. This story is kinda controversial and airs on the side of maybe politics?
The Third War of the Civil
Page 1 Every panel of this page is devoid of color. All
black and white.
Panel 1 (Black and White) Jefferson Davis is sitting on a
chair drinking from a wine glass. Behind him is a
painting of Abraham Lincoln with a giant X
through the center.
Panel 2 (Black and white) In front of a roaring crowd,
Robert E. Lee is standing near the lifeless body
of Abraham Lincoln, who was killed by hanging.
Panel 3 (Black and White) Robert E. Lee and Jefferson
Davis are posing in front of a large crowd,
standing together in front of the white house.
Confederate flags are now hanging from the house.
Caption The New Confederate States of America.
Panel 4 (Black and White) Medium shot of a statue in a
beautiful park, this statue depicts Northern
piled on the ground with Abraham Lincoln's famous
hat atop the dead bodies.
Page 2: Everything on this page is in color and the rest of
the pages are in color.
Panel 1 A field in the south on a sunny day, African
American men are working on the field.
Panel 2 In the distance, a slave master can be seen
whipping a slave.
Panel 3 An up close shot of a slave's face. He looks
Panel 4 The slave has a pitchfork in hand as he walks up
to the slave master whipping the slave, the
whipped slave is in the fetal position on the
Panel 5 Over the shoulder shot from the viewpoint of the
slave master with the whip. The slave that was
holding the pitchfork has now been joined by 30
some odd other slaves behind him.
Panel 1 An up close shot of a crumpled used one dollar
bill on the street, the edges of the bill has
blood on it. The person on the one dollar bill is
not George Washington, he is replaced by
Caption Present day
Panel 2 On the same street, the bill is lying on, there
is a large battle taking place between African
American men and White men. We are in the present
so modern guns and weapons are being used. Dead
bodies are strewn across the battlefield from
Panel 3 A soldier from the African American side sees an
injured white soldier limp into a dark alleyway.
Panel 4 The African American soldier walks into the
alleyway. He has a large knife drawn.
Panel 5 An up close shot of a tag on the African American
soldiers chest, it reads "Lincoln Unit".
Panel 1 The African American man stands over the wounded
white soldier with his knife drawn. The white
soldier has his hands up pleading for his life.
Panel 2 The African American soldier is now on top of the
White soldier holding his knife to his throat.
The white soldier is crying.
My daughter needs me.
Panel 3 An up close shot of the African American soldiers
face. He looks saddened.
Panel 4 A flash to the African American soldier holding
his baby in his arms. The baby is wrapped in a
Panel 5 The African American soldier is now sitting next
to the white soldier who is still lying down on
Panel 6 The White soldier and the African American
soldier walk out of the alley together. The
African American soldier is helping the White
soldier walk due to his wounds. They are walking
@ Jaycy, Third War of the Civil
I like what you have here. It's got a really deliberate pacing that I like. And the fact you told the story with only one speech balloon is pretty awesome.
I would focus on making sure you have enough description so that your vision is clear. For example, on 3.1 I would clarify if this is a new street? Paved? We were just set over a hundred years ago, so the artist needs to know we’ve shifted eras. Also on 3.2 I would add more details on clothing. Are either side dressed as soldiers? Is this a war or skirmishes? Does one side look to be the better funded or more put together?
Thematically I think the ending would have more punch if we had been introduced to these characters earlier. Perhaps the black soldier was telling the history to his son, then later on the battlefield he spares the white soldier who talks about their child? That way we already knew he had a kid, no need for a flashback, and the history stuff leading up will feel more organic. Just a thought. Overall I like what you have.