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Thread: Generation X samples

  1. #1

    Generation X samples

    I used some of the projected characters from the upcoming Gen X series, but this isn't from any published or official sample script. Just put a couple pages together to show character acting, perspective, staging, and conflict, aka basic storytelling. Hope you guys like!

    [Update] Thanks to some crits I adjusted a few major mistakes, namely Quinten and Rock man's position in the classroom and Quinten's jacket in page 2. Plus a few other adjustments. Thanks so much guys!








    Last edited by Domo!; 04-18-2017 at 06:40 PM. Reason: critique follow up

  2. #2
    Not quitting his day job yet... [SUPPORTER]
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    Hey Domo - overall some very nice work.

    Here are some comments:
    Page 1: rows of seats are inconsistent. Panel 2 looks like Quentin is in the last row; Panel 3 looks like there are 2 rows behind them; Panel 4 shows 1 row behind them. This needs to be consistent.
    Page 1: Panel 3 - blockheads arm looks really short; also either the perspective is off on their desks or the desks are different sizes
    Page 2: Panel 1 - Quentin looks like he has a double chin here which is very different from page 1; also, his jacket was closed on page 1 but he buttoned it somewhere?
    Page 3: Thanos is very stiff looking. His hips and torso are completely square to each other and to the viewer (and floor!). He needs some twist to look alive, especially since his leg is back implying movement. This is the biggest issue I see with these pages. His fist also looks like it is resting on the body on the left.
    Page3: Jubilee's position does not look natural. Her torso is too vertical for her to be leaning on her left arm. If she's not leaning on her left arm she must be doing a serious ab crunch to stay upright. I would redraw her as well.

    I hope these crits are useful!
    Last edited by Diesel; 04-17-2017 at 11:20 PM.
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    Straight Outta a Comic Book [SUPPORTER] Symson's Avatar
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    Diesel makes good points.

    Great style, camera movement and acting.

    Compositions are interesting, with good use of blacks for framing and adding drama.
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  4. #4
    Quote Originally Posted by Diesel View Post
    Hey Domo - overall some very nice work.

    Here are some comments:
    Page 1: rows of seats are inconsistent. Panel 2 looks like Quentin is in the last row; Panel 3 looks like there are 2 rows behind them; Panel 4 shows 1 row behind them. This needs to be consistent.
    Page 1: Panel 3 - blockheads arm looks really short; also either the perspective is off on their desks or the desks are different sizes
    Page 2: Panel 1 - Quentin looks like he has a double chin here which is very different from page 1; also, his jacket was closed on page 1 but he buttoned it somewhere?
    Page 3: Thanos is very stiff looking. His hips and torso are completely square to each other and to the viewer (and floor!). He needs some twist to look alive, especially since his leg is back implying movement. This is the biggest issue I see with these pages. His fist also looks like it is resting on the body on the left.
    Page3: Jubilee's position does not look natural. Her torso is too vertical for her to be leaning on her left arm. If she's not leaning on her left arm she must be doing a serious ab crunch to stay upright. I would redraw her as well.

    I hope these crits are useful!
    Thanks so much Diesel, heck yea, your crits helped a ton. I hadn't even noticed I completely doped on Quinten's jacket. Good call on the desk positions as well, pretty much everything is spot on and will be adjusted accordingly, though I gotta say the only one I disagree with is the pg 3 Jubilee pose.



    I think the jacket falling down wrinkling in it's interaction with the floor is giving you the illusion that her torso is vertical, otherwise I wouldn't call her position upright... maybe the under drawing will help. Still, thanks so much for all the crits man!

  5. #5
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    Cool as always, the one thing i notice is Thanos leg's, they read really short to me.
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    Agree on Thanos.. I think.. His legs need to be ever so slightly longer, his torso a little shorter, and probably his arms are a touch long. He looks almost like a silverback gorilla in that picture.
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  7. #7
    really nice work! great story telling from panel to panel and some really nice panel compositions! Thanos has some proportion problems but i still think the jubilee pose looks off and its more than just the jacket making it look off. I think the down arm (her left) is in a strange position in relation to the floor perspective...

    This is just my opinion and i am far from an expert on such matters but i did a little draw over if it's okay?



    Hope it helps ( if in no other way than to confirm how right you are by how wrong mine looks
    Again, really nice stuff and i checked out your website, really strong work on there! looking forward to more!

  8. #8
    While not anatomically correct i actually really liked your take on Thanos. Though i seem to be in the minority here xD

  9. #9
    the way you spot blacks reminds me of culley hamner. Not sure if I like it or not. It does add some energy but I guess I'm not a fan of it , stylistically. But your work is very nice nonetheless. If I had to pick at the pages I would say that page one panel 3 would look better as a close up of their hands shaking. Kind of breaks the page up and gets to the point. It will also save you time when you can do things like that and makes your page less cluttered. Also thanos looks really flat. His belt wraps around his sides but the chest, abs, thigh guards, and rectangular plate are all straight lines with no wrap around the body.

    Just my opinions. Great work though. Very clear and readable.

  10. #10
    I happen to be a big fan of broken/open blacks but there's a point where it just becomes confusing clutter when clarity is the goal.

    The blazers are most likely made of a flat wool/polyester blend with matching lapels. You've rendered highly reflective plastic with lapels of a different material. If you don't need highlights, don't use them. If you think you need highlights, there's a 90% chance that you're wrong. Let the silhouette do the job. Match the lapels to the blazers.

    The BOOM shot - The lighting on Foreground Girl™ is unrealistic, absurd and distracting. It draws attention away from the BOOM when the BOOM is the only thing of importance. Again, let silhouette do the job.



    With Thanos directly between us and the light, Thanos will be the figure most hidden in shadow. If you want to use shadow for story rather than realism (which is fine as story trumps everything) do it in a way that allows figures to pop. Don't make us search in the clutter for Foreground Girl™ like a game of Where's Waldo. POP her.

    Watch your cropping. With shadow obscuring the form and the jacket falling out of shot Foreground Girl™ looks like she's standing on her left leg preparing to kick.

    When applying broken blacks, don't slap ink into areas, slap them over 3D forms. Follow those forms with your strokes. Slap blacks loosely in such a way that if you "miss" and some white remains those white areas are following the form.

    Overall, storytelling is clear... up until the inks. Style is great, it's something we all seek but, it and everything else is subject to story and story's #1 need is clarity.

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