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  1. #11
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    Thanks, Eddie, and you're dead on.

    Quote Originally Posted by EddieChingLives View Post
    Solid stuff. Would be nice to see the script to this, to compare what was in the script to what your chose. The face and hands need some consistency. Take your time with them. It seemed like you rushed to the inking phase too fast, like you needed another pass at the pencils to tighten up faces and hands.

    Without background material it's hard to judge what is happening on the page. It looks like the lady has an ice pack on her head and is pissed. Then seems okay with it when the officer and some random guy appear in the last shot.

    The second page shows a guy that appears to be teleporting into the first shot. Talks to a dock worker and looks nauseous, talks to a secretary, then a lawyer?

    But there's definite quality to your stuff! You are right there. It's just honing it in and spending some time making sure your ready to go to the ink phase. Good stuff!

  2. #12
    Modesto, CA 1979 EddieChingLives's Avatar
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    That last page shows you are getting into the grove of things. The main thing that stands out in the last page is her shoulder looks disjointed in the second to last panel.

    Storywise it looks like a dude on a cliff. The second panel took me three glances to see that the girl is falling in that panel. He grabs her in the next panel, perhaps could be closer as well. I like the last two panel angles, although the hand in the last panel needs some extra time to shape them out using the shapes and perhaps reference.

    I think the main problem, besides the surface problems I mentioned, is the middle two panels just could use a bit better cropping. You already established the surrounding area in the first panel. Use that as an advantage so you can cut to the action.

    I wouldn't consider your inking sloppy, maybe lacking a little bit of a line weight nook and a nook and cranny pass might help.

    Will this be toned or colored? I find I can get away with a lot if my work is colored or toned, because it's all about separating the layers and adding depth.

    I don't know how you go about planning a page, but sometimes it helps me to draw the action shot by shot on a scrap paper, then figure out how to transfer that to the page.



    Quote Originally Posted by lwdallas View Post
    Thanks, Eddie, and you're dead on.

  3. #13
    Modesto, CA 1979 EddieChingLives's Avatar
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    You might even want to go in super tight of the hands clasping.

  4. #14
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    Inks From http://thrucomic.com/index.php/2017/...rdue-page-art/

    This is a transition page. Doctor consultation, you know the drill--there's nothing to worry about... Then tells the janitor this is a plague room!


  5. #15
    Bryan E.Warner's Avatar
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    Just jumping out at me...your hands are on the large size...
    Keep that Pencil Busy!

  6. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bryan E.Warner View Post
    Just jumping out at me...your hands are on the large size...
    Thanks for that! I'll have to watch for that.

  7. #17
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    here I am using some tone and relying on the color more for the backgrounds than on other occasions.

    Receptionist comes into the busy lab. Gwen has her mom face on (but I can see already I missed her neck line when inking).

    Sgt. Maj runs out to try to prevent our hero from getting himself into more trouble with the cops.

    The cop and Thomas reveal a damning secret.

    Murder is mentioned.

    Gwen in full mom mode shuts Thomas down before he makes a poorly timed confession.

    The Sgt. knows what he is doing.

    --

    In inking this page, I had to shift away from a brush completely to a technical pen due to a slight palsey that sneaks up on me. It'll get better but I can't stop and wait.

    Even with that, beat me up. I need the advice, gents.

  8. #18
    Bryan E.Warner's Avatar
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    Color is great...But a Wise artist for Dark Horse...and who also has 2 indy's told me...always draw like it's never gonna see color....and if it does ( color is expensive in print...the net Free! go figure..) it will look all the cooler
    Keep that Pencil Busy!

  9. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bryan E.Warner View Post
    Color is great...But a Wise artist for Dark Horse...and who also has 2 indy's told me...always draw like it's never gonna see color....and if it does ( color is expensive in print...the net Free! go figure..) it will look all the cooler
    If you bump into this wisened artist again, give him a thumbs up from me!

  10. #20
    Bryan E.Warner's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lwdallas View Post
    If you bump into this wisened artist again, give him a thumbs up from me!
    I'll let him know
    Keep that Pencil Busy!

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