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Thread: Thrucomic.com

  1. #1
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    Thrucomic.com

    Pages from indie comic Thru from Thrucomic.com. These pages are my own work and part of the freely available comics on the web site. Since choosing to return to comics from many years of IT, I am seeking any and all suggestions for improving my art

  2. #2
    Monkey with Crayons [Moderator] Veritas71's Avatar
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    I moved this to Sequential area.
    OPEN FOR COMMISSIONS!
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    PUMMEL Statistics: 8 Wins - 3 Losses (6-KO's) 2 Month Champ

  3. #3
    Bryan E.Warner's Avatar
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    Remember the 4 Rules...1-Keep it simple...2-Keep it interesting...3-Don't get too artsy we fall out of the story...4-Make us want to turn the page.....right now what jumps at me is your not using your line weight...your backgrounds are...um you don't have...Most of the work looks like ( and please no offense..I'm just an old artist with just an opinion )..almost clip art out of the 70's...( i've work in the printing industry over 37 yrs ) These are just things that jumped out at me from the gate,, Glad Your on Board here...Well Come to PencilJack Lonnie Your gonna grow even more if you stick around
    Keep that Pencil Busy!

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  5. #5
    Monkey with Crayons [Moderator] Veritas71's Avatar
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    Too small, can't make out anything.
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  6. #6
    Bryan E.Warner's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Veritas71 View Post
    Too small, can't make out anything.
    Yep ..what Chris said...if we can't see it...how can we critique it
    Keep that Pencil Busy!

  7. #7
    Quote Originally Posted by Veritas71 View Post
    Too small, can't make out anything.
    your URL-Fu is weak, grasshopper

    Unfortunately, the larger image simply provides extra confusion.

    Establish, establish, establish.

    Where are we? When are we? I have no clue. Our hero shows up in... a cart from ancient Rome? That turns into an Elliot Ness-mobile? That turns into a pile of boxes? Our hero becomes sick mid page for no reason. Talks to a gal with a floating typewriter? Mr. Briefcase shows up out of nowhere...?

    SHOW us what's happening: Who, what, where, when, why and how


  8. #8
    Modesto, CA 1979 EddieChingLives's Avatar
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    Solid stuff. Would be nice to see the script to this, to compare what was in the script to what your chose. The face and hands need some consistency. Take your time with them. It seemed like you rushed to the inking phase too fast, like you needed another pass at the pencils to tighten up faces and hands.

    Without background material it's hard to judge what is happening on the page. It looks like the lady has an ice pack on her head and is pissed. Then seems okay with it when the officer and some random guy appear in the last shot.

    The second page shows a guy that appears to be teleporting into the first shot. Talks to a dock worker and looks nauseous, talks to a secretary, then a lawyer?

    But there's definite quality to your stuff! You are right there. It's just honing it in and spending some time making sure your ready to go to the ink phase. Good stuff!

  9. #9
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    Re: Elliot Nessmobile...That has to be my favorite comment ever! I'll get my sea legs, yet.

    As for URL Fu, I'm still looking for the rice paper... (did I date myself there?)
    Last edited by lwdallas; 06-24-2017 at 02:19 AM.

  10. #10
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    The synopsis form Thru is a group of scientists in the 30s discover a way to "radio" people to alternate dimensions.

    our hero is stricken with a fever in previous pages. He has brought back an illness from the alternate Earth and in that version of the west coast there is a children’s ailment that can kill adults. Bummer, right!

    So so begins a short dream--Thomas frequently dreams about falling as his personality is chipped away at in the issues.

    In his delirium, Thomas has taken himself to a dark, er, self-illuminating cavern. Just chilling. Taking the view. And who shows up? Your favorite and mine--the estranged wife from Issue one! And for some reason, he saves her from her fall. She is so appreciative she then tries to drag him after her!
    Talk about the intersection of bad trips and bad dates! How could this get any worse?

    i noted the feedback on the inking sloppiness. This is one of the things related to my head injury. I'm trying to get it back as I keep drawing. Any inker that finds a way out of sloppy handling of a pen, I need your advice!

    additionally the script calls for lots of lettering I haven't yet focused on.


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