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Thread: 3 Pages of new story

  1. #1

    3 Pages of new story

    First 3 in-progress pages of a new story I'm working on.






  2. #2
    These look awesome! Nice build up to the soldier's death. Definitely leaves me wanting to know more. Small writing note, ellipses are used to show a pause in dialogue (in formal writing they indicate an omission), while a dash should be used to indicate someone has been interrupted. Which I think you were going for on page 2 panels 1 & 3.

  3. #3
    Quote Originally Posted by Shaun View Post
    These look awesome! Nice build up to the soldier's death. Definitely leaves me wanting to know more. Small writing note, ellipses are used to show a pause in dialogue (in formal writing they indicate an omission), while a dash should be used to indicate someone has been interrupted. Which I think you were going for on page 2 panels 1 & 3.


    Thanks!

    You're right about the ellipses, I'll fix that mistake.

  4. #4
    Bryan E.Warner's Avatar
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    Nice Ron sort of a Firestarter take?
    Keep that Pencil Busy!

  5. #5
    Quote Originally Posted by Bryan E.Warner View Post
    Nice Ron sort of a Firestarter take?

    Thanks!

    I hadn't really thought about Firestarter, but I guess there are a few similarites.

  6. #6
    Page 1 finished (i think):

    Last edited by RonB; 02-06-2017 at 03:51 PM.

  7. #7
    Bryan E.Warner's Avatar
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    I like those colors...gives a mood and easy on the eyes
    Keep that Pencil Busy!

  8. #8
    Quote Originally Posted by Bryan E.Warner View Post
    I like those colors...gives a mood and easy on the eyes
    Yup, same here, lovely colors, the gradient on the bottom could be tweaked a bit, that beige brown doesnt click with the nice orange for me. Cant put my finger on it but something feels not quite right there.
    "Censorship is legal vandalization of art" - Urban Dictionary
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  9. #9
    Thanks.

    Couple minor revisions here, including fixing that gradient on the bottom.


    Last edited by RonB; 02-07-2017 at 02:43 PM.

  10. #10

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