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Thread: Deadpool/Batman sample pages

  1. #1

    Deadpool/Batman sample pages

    Hi everyone,

    I'm new here and am looking to get my work critiqued. This is a Batman/Deadpool mashup I created. All work is done by me. Thanks!













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  2. #2
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    This reads well, I get the story even without the werds. I like the last 3 panels.
    Had to look twice at Page 1 panel 3, Batman's head tilt seems a bit off?
    Nice work

  3. #3
    Page 3 panel 2 ithe overlap ove p1 could be a bit more exaggerated, ver y olid work!
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  4. #4
    Nice work! But pg 3 pn 3,
    i believe batman is a giant. But I think someone else will explain better.

    And the last 3panels were actually my least favorite due to his awkard symmetry/hands pose + drawn cartoony mouth. Just my feeling..

    More please!

  5. #5
    Stand up. Spread your feet. Look down. What happened to your head? The chin fell into the hollow of the collarbone at the base of the neck. This puts the top of the head FORWARD of the toes. Speaking of toes: never point them in the same direction unless they're pressed against each other. Introduce an inch of separation and you introduce an angle. The wider the stance, the wider the angle.

    Use perspective to project height over distance. I know nothing about Deadpool but I'll guess he's shorter than Batman. (We can change the specifics but the procedure remains the same) IF this is true, THEN the top of Deadpool's knee lines up to the bottom of Batman's knee. Draw a line through the heels to the horizon. From that point on the horizon, project a line along the TOP of Deadpool's knee. The BOTTOM of Batman's knee will all on that line.

    BAD GUN (bad gun, bad) Watch your overlaps, bleeds etc. You're using art as a barrier, EEK. Never force the reader to fight through the art to find the story. Art IS the story. You've placed the gun in such a way as it forces the reader to avoid reading in proper order!?! Get that gun INSIDE the panel. Unless it MEANS something, unless the story falls apart without it, avoid bleeds, overlaps and violations of borders.



    Your street is barely wide enough for a Mini Cooper with the mirrors torn off. Watch the widths of your facades over distance. The building at left suggests a metropolitan financial district. We want 2 sidewalks, 2 parking lanes, 4 driving lanes and a median (maybe 2 bus lanes and 2 turning lanes as well.) What you call the width of one building is actually 2-3 BLOCKS!

  6. #6
    Quote Originally Posted by humble-tomato View Post
    Nice work! But pg 3 pn 3,
    i believe batman is a giant. But I think someone else will explain better.

    And the last 3panels were actually my least favorite due to his awkard symmetry/hands pose + drawn cartoony mouth. Just my feeling..

    More please!
    Thanks for the feedback!


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

  7. #7
    Quote Originally Posted by Smitty View Post
    Stand up. Spread your feet. Look down. What happened to your head? The chin fell into the hollow of the collarbone at the base of the neck. This puts the top of the head FORWARD of the toes. Speaking of toes: never point them in the same direction unless they're pressed against each other. Introduce an inch of separation and you introduce an angle. The wider the stance, the wider the angle.

    Use perspective to project height over distance. I know nothing about Deadpool but I'll guess he's shorter than Batman. (We can change the specifics but the procedure remains the same) IF this is true, THEN the top of Deadpool's knee lines up to the bottom of Batman's knee. Draw a line through the heels to the horizon. From that point on the horizon, project a line along the TOP of Deadpool's knee. The BOTTOM of Batman's knee will all on that line.

    BAD GUN (bad gun, bad) Watch your overlaps, bleeds etc. You're using art as a barrier, EEK. Never force the reader to fight through the art to find the story. Art IS the story. You've placed the gun in such a way as it forces the reader to avoid reading in proper order!?! Get that gun INSIDE the panel. Unless it MEANS something, unless the story falls apart without it, avoid bleeds, overlaps and violations of borders.



    Your street is barely wide enough for a Mini Cooper with the mirrors torn off. Watch the widths of your facades over distance. The building at left suggests a metropolitan financial district. We want 2 sidewalks, 2 parking lanes, 4 driving lanes and a median (maybe 2 bus lanes and 2 turning lanes as well.) What you call the width of one building is actually 2-3 BLOCKS!
    Thanks for the feedback Smitty! This is very helpful to me. I'll keep this in mind in my future art work.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

  8. #8
    If anyone is interested in the story I created, here's the pages with dialogue.










    Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

  9. #9
    I enjoyed it, and thought everything flowed well.. but the balloon position/arrow for the butler's "Sir, I believe you've made a new friend", made the direction of reading very confusing.. It diverted the attention from pn1 to pn3. Maybe the balloon can be repositioned to where batman's balloon is now as a off-screen voice over, and batman's can be below that?

  10. #10
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