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Thread: Please critique this comic thus far:

  1. #1

    Please critique this comic thus far:

    So I love comics and I've come up with my "style" of drawing. I thought I'd hone my skills by jumping right in and make a webcomic.

    Anyways, here I am part of the way through the first, uh, chapter, and I figured I should get some feedback and correct my style before I create more panels with any bad habits I might have. I have very little idea what I'm doing as far as art and style goes and my background is in electrical work.

    It crossed my mind that the inked lines might be a little too thin, for one.
    Last edited by Steve 07; 01-03-2017 at 09:06 PM.

  2. #2
    Bryan E.Warner's Avatar
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    Hey Steve... I'm a Printer myself, so a full time job is heck trying to keep up any way..this is very easy on the eyes...no offense but it reminds me of some of the pamphlets we do ...it's like a blank with no personality/character...But this is a hard road...and telling a story visually is tough,..You seem to have a grasp at that.. Be Encouraged!
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  3. #3
    The Gozerian MLaw's Avatar
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    Your "style" seems like cel-shaded 3d models from Poser or similar. IF this is hand drawn, you've sucked the life right out of your work. It's flat with no shading, the pacing of what's happening seems more like an animatic or pencil test.. try to keep to the "high notes"... the ones that get us where we're going with the story. Also, study foliage. Spike like you've got are really not going to get you praise for grass.
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  4. #4
    Heh, good eye. I sculpted the character, plants, water, trees in Blender and did post processing in Gimp. I purposely flatted the colors because I was afraid of falling deeper into the uncanny valley. I might go back and hand shade it and see if it's more pleasing to the eye. Right now, I'm hoping to get my line art down.

    I didn't even consider how bad the grass. I'll go through and see if I can find some good real artists examples for the grass. In my next chapter, this guy will be cutting up grass or reeds with his new knife and making cordage out of it.

    Also, thanks for the feedback about personality. I hadn't even considered it, so I'll make sure to give this guy some expressions, such as when he successfully uses his new knife.
    I'll give my next comic much more soul, but this poor chap is going to be mute. See, this project is more akin to Ikea instructions or an airplane safety card. I think comics are an underappreciated medium to provide learning, so I'm hoping to have these characters make knives, fires, soap, steam engines, etc. all in the most visually pleasing and language independent way possible.
    With that said, how can I remove more of the ugly from my art?

  5. #5
    The Gozerian MLaw's Avatar
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    Google Sergio Toppi, Jim Lee, Greg Capullo, Simon Bisley, Mark Texeira, Jae Lee, Masamune Shirow.. etc etc..
    The personality isn't about facial expressions.. It's about putting YOU into your work. When you're just posing a character and hitting render, that's going to create a cold unfeeling image that is merely a representation of a thing. It's sterile and lifeless.. and unless you can really make that sing it will never never have the personality of something done through illustration.

    If you're going to use 3d (I'm not saying don't.. but..) use it for backgrounds or elements that ARE artificial. David Marquez does this and has learned to draw figures in it more or less convincingly. Enough so that he landed at Marvel. Things that are alive though, are still drawn by him and he learned draftmanship and storytelling before going down that road (I know, I own some of his hand drawn art). It needs to be a tool to achieve something you know how to do in a faster, more efficient way.. and NOT a shortcut to doing something you wouldn't otherwise have a clue about.
    I am always doing that which I cannot do, in order that I may learn how to do it. ~Pablo Picasso

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  6. #6
    Thank you so much! "Representation of a thing" and "sterile and lifeless" are good descriptions of these panels. In retrospect, I can't believe that I hadn't even thought about it before. Just looking at that beautiful "Dracula Unchained" thread in this light makes it super obvious to me now.
    I'm going to research those artists you mentioned now. I appreciate you making that list for a newbie! Also, I've read a lot of Masumune Shirow, and he does do background CG with real art in front very well.

  7. #7
    I love the clarity of the drawings, the proportions and poses are also really good, I think. I don't mind the colour, either - it's simple but also very clear. I'd be tempted to lighten up the bushes and trees in the background (and darken the grass), to give it some depth and see how that looks. The tangents he's making with the background (tree, bush and rock) in the first panel could be fixed, it's a little busy there. There's quite a few tangents in most of the panels - the rocks in the stream, for example, don't always need to be there. And the line between his legs on panel five - too much. The stuff in the background shouldn't "touch" him so much, so to speak, it makes things confusing.

    It comes over a bit flat, perhaps, because there's no detail in anything and all the lines are the same weight. Your proportions come over really good, but his pants need wrinkles and creases, the log needs to look like a log, the water needs a more water-like quality, etc. Shadow, texture, line weight - might make it all much more exciting. The drawing's are fairly realistic, but the inking isn't.

  8. #8
    Thanks for advice. I've started to study tangents now and I'll edit my work to reflect good practices. I'm going to exaggerate the line weight variation throughout and make the pants less boring. If nothing else, I'll add a lot more details on top of this.

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