View Poll Results: Which is your favourite story?

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  • Shaun - Gasp

    2 50.00%
  • Chris2.0 - Unusual Suspects

    1 25.00%
  • MisterPants - THE VIGILANTE

    0 0%
  • Joseph Dredd - MASKS

    1 25.00%
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Thread: Writing Contest #110: "Masks"

  1. #1
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    Writing Contest #110: "Masks"

    Hey everybody - I'm looking to get the Writing Challenges going again - missing these friendly competitions to up my writing game! (BTW - anyone's heard from Cbikle lately?)

    We already have a theme from Zepster from the last challenge - "Masks" - either literally or figurative....

    So as per usual PJ rules:

    *Nothing sexual in nature (romantic love scene is OK, but nothing graphic)

    *Nothing Political (or at least real world politics)

    *1-5 Pages in length

    * No published/franchise characters that you haven't created and own the rights to (public domain characters OK I guess, just make sure they're public domain)

    * The winner of this contest gets to choose the topic of the next contest.


    DEADLINE:Monday, January 9th 2017

  2. #2
    Thanks for posting this! I'll start brainstorming this weekend.

    I'll shoot Zepster a PM that this is up in case he's not checking PJ these days.

  3. #3

  4. #4

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    I'll give this a shot. Thanks for the PM, Chris!
    Scripts & Story Fragments

    Sketchbook

    PUMMEL [M] 11 wins | 23 losses | 7 knockouts

  5. #5
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    D'oh! My searching skills was not up to snuff, and saw the last Writing Competition was actually 109! Will ask a mod to change the thread title...

    So was the Masks theme ever used? As I've got about 20+ ideas for it so far... And still contemplating whether to get "The Count of Monte Cristo" to read before Xmas... Was recommended by Ryan Holiday from the Daily Stoic site... Hmm...

    Anybody used Wikipedia or Google Image search for inspiration for ideas?

    As ideation is one of the major things missing from the comic book writing course I did - just jumped in and had to do one story... Of course I changed my mind twice halfway, but my other stories was not taken into account. I can understand why, but my Wonder Woman archetype story really blew chunks... Even after ditching the 2 scripts already written and then thumbailing a new story (visually) did not save it...

  6. #6

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    I don't remember the topic coming up, and my cursory search doesn't turn up anything in at least the last 4 years, so it seems safe.

    Usually, my problem is not coming up with conceits, but if Wiki/Google are useful tools, use 'em.
    Scripts & Story Fragments

    Sketchbook

    PUMMEL [M] 11 wins | 23 losses | 7 knockouts

  7. #7
    High Quality content with low keyword density. Sandeep Jethwa

  8. #8
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    I'm in...

  9. #9

  10. #10

    Gasp

    Shaking off some rust with this one. It's been a while since I've written short form. It's lacking something and I may need to go back and tweak it but I wanted to put it up before things get busy with the holidays. Thanks for reading.


    GASP

    PG 1.
    7 Panels

    Pn 1
    We have a high, wide establisher of the factory district of a near-future metropolis. The tops of the buildings are obscured by a dense pollution. This pollution should look suffocating. One of the factories center frame is surrounded by a throng of protestors (their signs give them away). A hologram banner is projected above the factory, "ANNUAL SHAREHOLDERS GALA"

    Pn 2
    It’s chaos on the ground level. Signs proclaim, “BAN THE POLLUTERS”, “TOPPLE THE 1%”, and “DEATH TO DROIDS”. A teenage BOY is among the protestors and, like all the others, wears a half-face respirator mask to filter out the toxic air.

    Pn 3
    The Boy looks off panel to the sounds of fevered voices.

    VOICE 1 (OFF PANEL)
    What's one of those factory droids doin' out here?!

    VOICE 2 (OFF PANEL)
    Must've malfunctioned. Don’t let him get away!

    Pn 4
    We are over the shoulder of the boy; three protestors have cornered a humanoid factory droid in an alley beside the factory fence. This droid was not build for lifelike aesthetics but should look human enough that the dread on his face touches a nerve. There is so much smog in the alley that everyone is visible mostly torso up, making the scene slightly dreamlike.

    BOY
    What’ya doin?

    PROTESTOR 1 (to the Boy)
    What’s it look like?

    PROTESTOR 2 (to droid)
    You’re the reason we can’t get no jobs!

    Pn 5
    Protestor 3 is in the act of swinging a protest sign at the droid’s head but the Boy has grabbed his arm – stopping him.

    BOY
    This won’t accomplish nuthin’. They’ll just replace it!

    Pn 6
    The other two protestors grab the boy and pull him away.

    PROTESTOR 2
    I bet he works for the company!

    Pn 7
    Protestor 3 bashes the droid’s lower jaw with the picket sign. The jaw partially detaches from the skull.

    SFX FROM IMPACT
    WHACK!


    PG 2.
    5 Panels

    Pn 1
    The boy is punched hard in the stomach.

    BOY
    Oof!

    Pn 2
    The droid is stabbed in the chest with a protest sign, issuing a crackle of sparks.

    DROID
    Please don’t--

    Pn 3
    The boy is slashed across the face with a knife – severing the strap of his toxin filtering mask.

    Pn 4
    The protestors stand close to each other and look down at the boy in fear at what they’re just done.

    PROTESTOR 1
    Shit, you broke his mask!

    PROTESTOR 2
    Not on purpose. ‘Sides he’s one a them!

    PROTESTOR 3
    Screw this, I’m outta here!

    Pn 5
    The boy lies on the ground gasping for air. The pollution is slowly suffocating him. In the distance behind the boy the three protestors run from the scene.

    BOY
    *KOFF-KOFF*


    PG 3.
    6 Panels

    Pn 1
    The severely damaged droid looks down on the Boy.

    DROID [mechanical font]
    Your respirator has been terminally damaged.

    Pn 2
    The droid runs through the protestors toward the Factory gates cradling the boy in his arms. The protestors stand back in awe. The droid is a living firecracker, sparks fly from his neck and he spews black smoke.

    DROID [mechanical font]
    Step aside -- must reach medical unit.

    Pn 3
    Riot police, also wearing toxin masks, guard the gates and train their weapons on the droid.

    COP 1
    That droid must be malfunctioning…

    Pn 4
    Close on the cop, the oncoming robot is reflected in his helmet’s visor.

    COP 1
    Issuing primary command - seize motor functions!

    Pn 5
    Close on the robot, it’s jaw hanging by a ribbon of fake flesh. The boy sputtering against the droid’s chest.

    DROID [mechanical font]
    Protect human life supersedes all—

    Pn 6
    Close on the cop’s face, same as panel 5 only now the robot’s reflection looms larger.

    COP
    Nothing gets past us!
    (linked)
    LIGHT HIM UP!




    PG 4
    5 Panels

    Pn 1
    The droid has spun around to absorb the police’s bullets. He's trying to protect the boy. Several errant shots wound and kill protestors nearby.

    SFX FROM POLICE GUNS
    BLAM – BLAM – BLAM


    Pn 2
    The protestors surge forward in a blind rage.

    PROTESTOR
    They’re shooting! Get ‘em!


    Pn 3
    We are positioned behind the droid. He has collapsed to his knees while still cradling the boy. The protestors are passing the droid and the boy - at full charge for the waiting police.


    Pn 4
    The boy struggles to his feet gasping for air and clutching his chest. Around him protestors tear the riot police limb from limb.

    BOY
    *koff koff*


    Pn 5
    Several protestors have pinned a cop against the fence - creating a gap in the fence nearby. Meanwhile the boy is slipping through this gap.



    PG 5
    7 Panels

    Pn 1
    A man in a tuxedo stands at a podium gestures to another tuxedoed man who is walking toward the podium.

    HOST
    His new droid roll out cut costs and upped production by fifteen percent!
    (linked)
    Let's hear it for our CEO!


    Pn 2
    We are over the boy’s shoulder as he staggers onto the Factory floor, which has been dressed to entertain the hundred or so high society guests. They've all stood to applaud, unaware of the gasping boy. The boy's stance indicates he's in bad shape.


    Pn 3
    The CEO stands at the podium bathed in the warmth of a spotlight.

    CEO
    Thank you. Ya know a lot of people were surprised by my choice of venue-


    Pn 4
    Medium shot of the boy, blood dripping from his nose and mouth, his color gone and his skin gaunt. He raises a hand in desperate plea but no words come. Dinner guests nearby recoil in horror.

    BOY (weak)
    ....help....

    CEO (OFF PANEL)
    This is where we make our living. We should not be ashamed.
    (linked)
    I remember my father’s words--


    Pn 5
    On the CEO at the podium, his face looks conflicted by what he’s witnessing. He’s stunned but wants to soldier on.

    CEO
    He said… um…


    Pn 6
    On the boy’s face, dead on the ground, his eyes staring up lifelessly.

    CEO (OFF PANEL)
    Through our success we get to live forever.



    PN 7
    Back on the CEO, his hand covering his eyes from the spotlight. He is trying to see around the light at something beyond the boy.

    CEO
    Is that-- are those protestors?!
    (linked)
    EVERYONE RUN!


    THE END.
    Last edited by Shaun; 01-01-2017 at 12:39 PM. Reason: writing is rewriting!

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