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Thread: Dracula the Unconquered #4 pencils

  1. #21
    Pixel Jockey sdowner's Avatar
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    Here's Page 8! About to get a break from this location for a few pages, thank goodness.



    Bryan, humble-tomato:
    Thanks for the feedback, guys! I can't seem to shake the Disney comparison, I guess I should just embrace it. :-D Disney adventure meets Hammer horror seems about right.

  2. #22
    The Gozerian MLaw's Avatar
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    I like it.. the angles and pacing has a musical quality.. Panel 3 over his right shoulder, that perspective looks like it could be off.
    Absolutely embrace it.. It reminds me a bit of Tellos..
    I am always doing that which I cannot do, in order that I may learn how to do it. ~Pablo Picasso

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  3. #23
    Pixel Jockey sdowner's Avatar
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    I tweaked the perspective on Panel 3 there, MLaw. Good catch.



    Page 9.
    A change of scene. And a skeleton! Lots of shadows to be added in inking.


  4. #24
    The Gozerian MLaw's Avatar
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    Great stuff as usual.. panel 1 doesn't read well for me.. I'm not sure why..
    I think.. it's a lot of competing elements that are in strong contrast. Strong shapes competing for attention with really bold panels below trying to pull my eye that way.. adding to the structure he's emerging from being a bit unclear. I dunno.. I'm spitballing... could also be lack of midground? It sort of feels like really close and really far.. and the stuff in the middle doesn't lend to building the depth? Hopefully someone else will weigh in because I'm just not sure..

    The little arched thing over his left shoulder is out of perspective. The bottom half of the page is very well done to my eye.
    I am always doing that which I cannot do, in order that I may learn how to do it. ~Pablo Picasso

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  5. #25
    Pixel Jockey sdowner's Avatar
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    Hmm, gotcha. you're confirming the same problem I have with Panel one. This is my second pass at that shot, too. I'm wondering if inking and filling the blacks is going to organize it- it read very well in my thumbnail version, no question about what was happening. But if it doesn't read well then I need to rework it.

    Also- is that a typo or does it actually look to you like he's exiting the structure? I was aiming for "arriving, about to enter". :-(

    Thanks for being so consistent with your feedback, man! It's really hugely helpful to have a fresh pair of eyes on these pages as I go.

  6. #26
    The Gozerian MLaw's Avatar
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    Yeah, I thought he was standing there like a Batman pose with his cape blowing out.. like he left in a huff and was brooding..
    Maybe have a leg forward planting to show direction?

    I think maybe the structure needs to stand out a bit more.. so maybe lose the tree on top and cut it in a little more into the background.. and maybe try to establish some lines that reinforce the horizon. The building and character are aligned to one level horizon but almost all of the other lines look like they're setting up a diagonal horizon..

    No problem. I like seeing your work.. and you're always receptive to the crits.
    I am always doing that which I cannot do, in order that I may learn how to do it. ~Pablo Picasso

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  7. #27
    Pixel Jockey sdowner's Avatar
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    OK, cool. I didn't make his silhouette clear, on top of the other things. He's meant to be facing away from the reader into the structure.

    I'm trying to show it built into a hillside, hence the diagonal horizon in the background.

    *edit*

    I cleaned it up a bit and did a quick tone overlay. I think the basic composition is still good, no? Just needs a lot less extra detail, especially in the foreground.

    Last edited by sdowner; 01-04-2017 at 07:34 PM.

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  10. #30
    The Gozerian MLaw's Avatar
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    Lookin good
    I am always doing that which I cannot do, in order that I may learn how to do it. ~Pablo Picasso

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