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Thread: Dark Town

  1. #1

    Dark Town

    Hey guys. New here. These are a few pages from a project I've been working on awhile and hopefully will eventually get done. Comments and crits from you intelligent and talented individuals is always appreciated. Thanks for your time!














  2. #2
    I don't have a lot of advice to offer on the technical side. I can't seem to get a large version of the images to appear, but it all looks pretty sound. My one piece of advice would be...

    Page 1 panel 5 - her running pose looks really awkward. She needs to be more engaged in her movements, imo. There's a lot of kinetic energy to be shown there - she's running forward, looking backwards, and hiking up her dress. You've depicted her doing each of those things with a bare minimum of motion involved.

  3. #3
    Quote Originally Posted by Joseph Dredd View Post
    I don't have a lot of advice to offer on the technical side. I can't seem to get a large version of the images to appear, but it all looks pretty sound. My one piece of advice would be...

    Page 1 panel 5 - her running pose looks really awkward. She needs to be more engaged in her movements, imo. There's a lot of kinetic energy to be shown there - she's running forward, looking backwards, and hiking up her dress. You've depicted her doing each of those things with a bare minimum of motion involved.
    Thanks Dredd. I really appreciate the time. Hopefully some of the future pages show better movement and I will continue working on it.

  4. #4
    More pages. Crits and comments always appreciated.












  5. #5
    More pages! Crits and comments always appreciated as I try to make my work the best it can be. No better place to come to than right here!






  6. #6
    Wonderful.

  7. #7
    [SUPPORTER] Josem's Avatar
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    Avoid using 3 point perspective if the horizon is in the shot. That panel where the jail door is being open, looks like a bird cage, itīs a distraction, takes the reader out of the story. A lot of good stuff here.
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  8. #8
    Yeah thanks for the help Josem! That's one that's been adjusted but I guess I posted the old one. Always appreciate the advice!

  9. #9
    Welcome aboard.

    Solid start but you know just enough perspective to kill us all. Your three most consistent mistakes: Including a 3rd point in shots that contain an horizon (it can be one two or four, never three); VPs too close together; No foreshortening of widths (as things go parallel to our view they become "narrower")

    Perspective is more than lines converging to a point, it's also about projecting scale. Your church tower is 10 stories tall. Your cactus is close to 120 ft tall. Pardon my anal retentiveness, Saguaro cactus has an extremely limited range and can't survive in Alps, Tetons type mountains; Choose one or the other.



    Inks are fine for superheroes or sci-fi but too slick for westerns. Look to guys like Howard Pyle, Hal Foster or John Severin to get a grittier more organic look. Avoid 21st century typefaces on hand painted 19th century signs ("Now Entering", "Post Office") Circles and ellipses are not balloons, Pinch control points and stretch out the bars (ignore leading comment, that was for another poster)



    Avoid sharp ruled ink lines. Hand draw where possible or use an offset edge. Remember this town was literally carved by hand with 19th century hand tools.



    For brushes try Ex A. If that's too much wobble try Ex B with a nib or marker. The chopstick method, Ex C works with pen or brush. D (and E) are variations on a "Mahl Stick" great for parallel lines and, because it contacts the surface closer to the line being drawn, flattens the paper more that the other methods.


  10. #10
    Great read! Both the pages and the crits! I'd pick that up easily for a few bucks at the lcs, given a nice print job
    Thanks for sharing that hard work!
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