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Thread: Batman Confidential sample in progress

  1. #21
    Pixel Jockey sdowner's Avatar
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    Hey Almayer! All of Smitty's feedback is super good and I love how you're integrating it to push these pages. I just wanted to add to all of it that-
    you're doing GREAT. This stuff is so close to being ready for primetime. I totally expect to see your name on some big books down the road if you keep this up. I truly feel like you're in the phase where just making more and more pages will get you where you need to go. Please keep it up!

  2. #22
    You're very kind! Thank you very much! You're encouraging me a lot with your words!


    May it be as you say, personally I think I have so much work to do, and practice a lot! I see flaws everywhere and (now) in every aspect! Sometimes when Smitty or other correct my pages makes me feel that I make one step forward and two back, because I'm too focused on drawing as good as I can instead of the most important part: the narrative! But be advised by people who really know about comic is a great luck! Priceless!


    Maybe someday I'll have the honor of having my work colored by professionals in your size!

    PS: Lovely colors in Dracula the Unconquered. Great job!
    Last edited by Almayer; 10-24-2016 at 01:06 PM.

  3. #23
    Second version of the loose pencils for page 6. Hopefully this describes better the scene and what happens, has more dynamic figures, and gains a little time for batman to arrive where the thug is and kick him.

    I'm not sure if we need to see the arm and gun on panel 3 (and if so, I don't know if is at the right size, to be honest...).

    Do you think the last panel needs a background?

    Thanks in advance.


  4. #24
    Monkey with Crayons [Moderator] Veritas71's Avatar
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    You probably just need one panel to show the reload, unless you put the crying baby in the background. Like he's taking his time to really scare the kid. My first thought though is why isnt he focused on the batman? The kid might have distracted him for a second, but he would return to bats as he was reloading.

    Also, the bullets wouldn't create such a dispersed pattern from kick and arm movement. More of a straffing path instead of all over.
    Last edited by Veritas71; 10-27-2016 at 07:58 PM.
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  5. #25
    Hi Veritas71!

    According to the script, in the panel where he aims through the bedroom the bad guy says "Now then, where was I...?". Is really stupid, I know, because he kind of thinks that Batman has had enough and is not going to appear again (?). In the published book is the same. That's in fact the reason I did not put an exaggerated pose in the first version of the first panel: he does not look to be afraid of Batman. He even says "You better hide freak!" in the previous panel (3). His intention is to kill the baby and go out, and I imagine he doesn't need to scare her as she probably is already after what she has seen. I guess that, even if silenced, the uzi's make some noise and light flashes that would scare a baby.

    So I guess it's a question of interpretation of the script. For me it will be fine as long as the page looks clear. And I thought it was! But looks that it is not, at least without the words! I tried to focus on "Show-Don't Tell" and "Action-Full figure", trying to solve the page the best way.

    But what you point about the bullets is a good one. I'll change that in the next step. I know nothing about guns, but mini uzis like these should be difficult to control (but not as much as I depicted, even if he's is using his left hand!). An straffing path will fit better. Is a great suggestion.

    Thanks for your help!

  6. #26

    Batman Confidential sample in progress

    Test ... comment wip..

    Last edited by humble-tomato; 10-30-2016 at 03:42 PM.

  7. #27
    Ok, waiting for your comments. No hurry, I won't be able to continue the page in several days, so there's time to receive feedback and add retouches before inking. Thanks!

  8. #28
    Monkey with Crayons [Moderator] Veritas71's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by humble-tomato View Post
    Test ... comment wip..

    Not showing up for me. I know you can link from Dropbox, but I don't have the info at the moment. Anybody else link from Dropbox?
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  9. #29
    Sorry guys.. this is what I was posting.. Still not good at uploading stuff :P

    Hey Al, I know you wait for Smitty's opinions..and I do too.. but in the meantime, here is what I think..


    I loved all your previous pages, and they all look professional level. But this last attempt is to me the weakest, and amateurish.


    pn1 - his right hand looks awkward..
    pn2- perspective/size relations all messed..
    Also, right now, it doesn't read as palm-sweaty action scene, but as a comedic scene where the guy can't hit the point blank olympic runner running around in a small room.
    I think your original one was a lot stronger (the one bat jumps into the window).. with Smitty's suggestions of course.. I would also move the bullet sparks to the other wall & fix his leg going through the window frame.


    The last panel would look like this if we were trying to think their positions. Thus, not making much sense..






    Also, I think for Bat to kick like that he would still need to be Nightcrawler to suddenly appear behind him. Or be really sneaky to approach him before kicking..


    So I think Smitty's first suggestion would work a lot better. (post #10)
    Or if you want to change camera angle, you could try something like this?
    I googled "Jim Lee Hush Kick" and I copied his catwoman kick pose for this thumbnail..




    Anyhow.. that was me just yapping, but I really hope you end up with a strong page as other pages..
    BTW, could you give me where I can find this script ?

  10. #30
    Quote Originally Posted by Almayer View Post
    According to the script...
    DANGER! GRUMPY OLD MAN ALERT! RUN AWAY!

    There's your problem. There's no excuse for scripts in comics. None. This punk assed little bitch is so terrified he needs a pair of Uzi's to face a baby but, he's not afraid of the Batman? The writer's job is to write a story, your job is to tell the story. The writer proved he can't do his job. Why would you let him try and do yours?

    Diving into the kitchen makes no sense: Takes too long, provides too big a target, gives villain a rest and space to work, etc, etc, etc... Not employing the kitchen once he's there makes less sense. Why would Batman run out of the kitchen at 5 mph when he could throw a cast iron skillet at 120 mph. Humble's comment (with the red door frame) is correct. Batman cannot kick the villain because you put Batman in the kitchen, two rooms away, and never brought him out.

    Forget the script, find the story. Where the scene starts and stops is your decision: How it plays out is your decision. Whether any of that matches the script is irrelevant. Scripts tend towards digital: disconnected, disparate bits of information with no relationship to each other. We want analog: An uninterrupted flow of information, everything builds on the past and leads to the future.

    Me? I'd drop the kitchen and the reload. Neither have anything to do with the story. The story: is Batman saves baby from would be killer. Any artist that needs more than that is in the wrong business.

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