Well, I put light or shadow in the bad guy's eyes just by thinking when they were illuminated by the gun firing or not, so I think it's more or less ok as is. The point about the horizon line on third panel... I have changed the entire Batman figure and inked it in the final version. I put him like he's beginning to run to take the girl from the crib, as suggested (good point I think) by sdowner. Maybe I could put some movement lines on the grenades to make them appear like they have impacted on Batman's body after the bad guy launched them, and then landed on the floor. I guess you're right about the third person feel, but probably would feel the same even changing the horizon position. And there's a wormseye view in the first one, so I prefer not to repeat the same view just two panels after.
I must move on to another project, this one's taking forever and I'm dying to finish it and start another one to recover some enthusiasm. Maybe something like 4-5 pager, and try to do a project per month in that range. I must be realistic, it's everything I could do by now considering my lack of free time.
As Smitty would say, I'm "out of the comic-book business". I'm slow and have much flaws.
Last edited by Almayer; 03-23-2017 at 09:26 AM.
I hear ya. Looking forward to seeing the final version.
Although I am sure there are many flaws, here is the last page.
I'm not able to decide between the two versions, because panel 3 asks me for shadows on the floor, but the grenades are there, and I think they can't bee seen well if I draw the shadows on the floor. Also, putting projected shadows is not my thing, they are certainly wrong, I have put them there just to let you see what I mean. So if you can advise me something that does not involve much mess I'll try it, if not I'll leave it without shadows and move to new pages of something else.
The truth is that doubts arise with everything I do, and that makes me even slower. Spotting shadows, perspective, poses, anatomy... I see that I'm picking from here and there in pages of artists I like, in terms of style, and that make the pages inconsistent from that point of view too. The more I draw the more I see myself as a total beginner. Let's take these pages as they are: practices.
I've tried to ink this last page using the rough pencils I showed here before (without tightening them). I remember that I said Smitty that I'd try to do that on one page and well... I think I haven't been any faster, to be sincere. But probably because of the doubts I tell about.
Batman on panel 3 looks awkward, like he's dancing instead of beginning a run!
I have been reviewing the first few pages and see that I have to make changes on page 3 panel 3. The space between the closet and the wall is too small compared to the panel of the room overview on page 6 (which I think is the one that I should set as correct). So I must change that before closing the job.
I'm also uploading page 6 with the first panel modified. I think it's better this way. And I've corrected some little lines here and there.
Thank you for your patience guys!
Your inking makes everything so nice and pop out Almayer...I envy..
Here is some of my thoughts.. I think if you work on your camera angles/staging more, it will really enhance your good drawings. I feel like you are a bit rushing the thumbnail/staging process, and then try to fix the arising issues later with details.
and here is my thought on the page 5.
Page 5 panel 3, 4 are the weakest to me.. without the shadow or not..
Right now, panel 3's focal point is the bad guy looking up to Batman.. The grenades on the floor are the last thing the eyes will follow. Because nobody is looking at them. I believe we should see Batman from the front not from the behind. and I think the running motion can go if it looks like dancing.. and it can just show his stunned reaction.
Panel 4 is read as someone stealing a baby while watching for someone spotting him. The urgency/quick pacing is just not there.
I did a quick sketch for those panels, just for my own study. I'm not sure if you want me to share it.. maybe I will message you.
Certainly, I'm not saying what I have in mind is the correct way of doing it, but I strongly feel what you have done is not a good way and kills the good work you have showcased elsewhere of the pages..
Last edited by humble-tomato; 03-27-2017 at 03:50 PM.
I agree in everything you say. I need to think better and take better decisions before going to the next stage, that's for sure. The feelings, emotions, urgency pace, camera angles... well, it's just that I haven't been able to do it better, and what you point is one of the reasons, but also that I need to improve in every aspect of comic book creation. And I think I need to pay more attention to what I read, not only theory books, the comic books I'm reading nowadays also. Since I've been reading manga most of my life I'm trying to read as much western comic books as I can, mostly american (mainly superhero themed). So my lack of time gets worse as I need time not only for drawing but to read those books. Not trying to justify, just commenting my situation (well, you knew it now, we talked about it via pm). The feeling is that I'm very late and trying to make up for lost time. So maybe yes, I'm rushing the thumbnails and everything! Even if it looks that I'm taking forever to draw every page!
I'd like to see that ideas you have drawn for your own study (pm me), everything that would help me to improve is more than welcome. But I think I'll head to another project now and leave this at last. I've learned a lot, let's try now to do it better in the next pages.
Envy? Well, thanks! I still ink studying too much every line before putting it and abusing of CTRL+Z, I need to change that, makes it look so cold. And I think that my drawings look good but most of them are all surface. As I said on my previous post I have no style yet, I'm picking from artists I like all the time. I am looking at Kevin Nowlan, Jason Fabok, Chris Sprouse, Eddy Barrows and Ryan Sook nowadays. When I started these pages was looking to Frank Cho, Stuart Immonen and Yanick Paquette. I obviously need to be myself, but I think I'm learning a lot by looking at others work and try to imitate them. Still, need to pay much more attention.
Thanks for your help and comments!